Conniving Whore

she quit taking her birth control without telling me, and now we’re parents.

also she makes shitty sandwiches.

amyypiee: do me a favor. please ? she’s been missing since yesterday /: i don’t care if you live a thousand miles from me. just reblog this. it doesn’t take that long. everyone’s worried sick about her. please and thank you.

amyypiee:

do me a favor. please ? she’s been missing since yesterday /: i don’t care if you live a thousand miles from me. just reblog this. it doesn’t take that long. everyone’s worried sick about her. please and thank you.

(via tomoatmeal)

Jargonr

Check out this awesome new blog. For those of you that hate the bullshit of business talk, or think the fat cats are full of it, this one’s for you. Read and submit!

jargonr:

“Fleishman-Hillard Inc., one of the world’s leading strategic communications firms, has built its reputation on creating integrated solutions that deliver what its clients value most: meaningful, positive and measurable impact on the performance of their organizations. The firm is widely recognized for excellent client service and a strong company culture founded on teamwork, integrity and personal commitment.”

—

Right. Now we know exactly what they do. (via) 

(Source: )

C’mon

We need some funny entries! For a special project we’re working on! Help us out! Funny entries only! :)

Called me an “ugly fat ho ass bitch” even though he, literally, looks like the blue eagle from the Muppets. Also, he’s 21 and balding. And to think I was going to marry that…

the first week we were dating, we were texting. my phone died during the middle of it. in the time it took for me to go plug it in, he had sent me 3 texts and 3 facebook messages asking me what he had done wrong and why i wasnt talking to him.

oh yeah, and he broke up with me via text while i was across the country in the hospital with my grandmother.