We all want to be beautiful and we all have our own reasons why. Most people want to have the perfect smile, nose and body. We all want shiny hair, full lips, and firm and large breasts. All while smelling good and looking fabulous overall. Luckily, in this day and age, there are lots of beauty products available on the market, as long as you have the money for them.
There are a myriad of beauty aids out there, from the best of the best beauty products that are proven to be effective, to the strange and cringe-worthy products that will make you wonder what in the world they are, exactly. Through studies made by manufacturers with really creative minds and the law of supply and demand, they have come up with beauty products that have eyebrow-raising, forehead-wrinkling, eye-squinting and just downright bizarre names.
Believe it or not, these products exist in the marketplace. When you see them, you’ll probably do a double take every time. Here are 14 beauty products with the most bizarre names, they will have you shaking your head with laughter or even with confusion.
1. Beauty Smile Trainer
If you think smiles are free, then you haven’t come across the beauty smile trainer yet. This product will help you turn your frown literally upside down by making you smile.
The product uses a gel-like substance that is attached to the teeth like braces or retainers and makes your lips form into a smile.
The smile trainer is detachable anytime and can easily be carried anywhere, which can be perfect if you go out socializing and you want to wear that perfect smile.
2. Hana Tsun Nose Straightener
Ever heard of those athletes who had nose injuries and needed a nose job just to get it back to its former look? This product is just like that, only it’s for vanity purposes. You don’t need a nose injury to get one. You don’t even need a really crooked and bad nose to get one. All you need is a facial vanity obsession and a strong fetish for a perfect nose.
The product is a bit challenging, though. You will be wearing an object that has to cover both of your nostrils. Well, if you don’t need air to breath, then go right ahead.
3. Propia Hige Japanese Fake Beard
Kids wear fake beards for trick or treat. Adults who wear fake beards are most likely celebrities in a shoot and are acting like their character.
Why would anyone else other than the two wear a fake beard? We all have our reasons and no one is judging.
Fake beards can be worn by anyone who just feels like wearing a beard. The good thing about this product is that it comes in many shapes and sizes that best suits your preference for the beard that you want.
4. The F Cup Cookie
It’s a cookie as its name suggests. But what is the F Cup for? Nope, it is not a football cup cookie nor is it an energy booster cookie. You eat it and it increases your breast size. Hence, the name, F Cup.
An F cup? Really? The normal breast size for a woman is a C or a D, and that would already make you look hot. So, the question is: what on earth would you need an F cup bra size for?
5. Feces Odor Tablets
Does it smell really bad when you go to the bathroom? Do you get bullied or teased about having the worst-smelling poop ever? Here’s a news flash: all poops smell bad.
You’re not the only one, so don’t think that you are different. You already know that.
However, if you don’t believe it or you still feel like something should be done, Feces Odor Tablets are your best friend. The product promises to make your poop smell better, even if you eat a terrible mix of food.
6. Cheetos Lip Balm
If your favorite junk food is Cheetos – which is agreeably good in the first place – you have the opportunity to taste those cheesy snacks any time you like. Cheetos Lip Balm is, as the name clearly paints the picture, a Cheetos-flavored lip balm.
That means you get to take the taste of Cheetos wherever you go. How cool is that?
7. Fresh Body Fresh Breasts
Fat or thin women, they all have the same predicament when Mr. Sun comes out really hot and your sweat lathers your breasts all over. The result is will both make the skin around your breasts sticky and make you smell sour. Yup, sour like vinegar.
The product Fresh Body Fresh Breasts promises to make your breasts feel fresh and clean all the time. With the heat that we have today, the product may be a little bizarre, but it sure is really useful, ladies.
8. Baby Foot Easy Pack
Your feet are one of the most abused, yet neglected parts of your body. That is why sometimes they crack on the heels or feel rough. It’s not surprising why people want to invest in a product that would make the feet smooth and soft.
Baby Foot Easy Pack does not just do that. It also causes the dead skin to peel off after a few days. This will renew your feet and make them smooth and soft again.
9. Aesop Post-Poo Drops
Vanity is the reason why some of the most bizarre beauty products were invented. In this case, it’s not just on your skin but on your environment – or at least in your bathroom. If you have used the bathroom are left with the smell, Aesop Post-Poo Drops can help you with that.
If you don’t want to leave a bad smell in your bathroom or can’t stand the smell of your own poop, you can sprinkle three drops of Aesop Post-Poo Drops in the toilet to kill the smell and have you smelling good as you leave the bathroom.
10. Whale Vomit Perfume
There are citrus-smelling perfumes, there are perfumes that an acquired smell of appreciation for it to be good, there are perfumes that are downright just good-smelling anywhere, anytime and then there are the weird scents that will have you asking what on earth were the manufacturers thinking. One good example is Whale Vomit Perfume, which is – you guessed it – a perfume that smells like whale vomit.
What does whale vomit smell like? It might not be the same as the human vomit, but still – it came from the deepest parts of the whale’s stomach which who knows what it contains. Would you spray that scent all over you?
11. Bird Poop Facial Treatment
Yes, this is literally bird poop. No, it’s not gross. Well, at least not for some people. Bird poop facial treatments are one of the most expensive facial treatments at the spa and salons that offer it.
This is because of the natural moisturizing and detoxifying effects of bird poop.
If a bird takes a dump on you, don’t get mad. Spread it all over your face because that one’s for free.
12. Crazy Girl Wanna Be Naked Shave Cream
First of all, the name is just downright ridiculous. Why would a shaving cream have this long for a name? Anyway, the Crazy Girl Wanna Be Naked Shave Cream is nothing more than just a shave cream used by women down there when they want to shave away their pubic hair.
Still, the name is rather catchy because it is what most women’s objectives are, to shave their pubic hair to a certain level of nothingness so that they will look naked overall.
13. Flirty Pheromone Lotion
This product, if proven to be 100 percent effective, can be the most in demand product in the dating world. Flirty Pheromone Lotion claims that their product can make your sweat produce more pheromones, which could attract more members of the opposite sex and have you flirting with them, or them flirting with you. How tempting.
14. Deo Perfume Candy
If you have a favorite scent of perfume and you use it all the time, the scent kind of gets attached to your skin over time and it becomes your basic smell.
Ever had a perfume that smells so good you wish every inch of you smelled that way? Or, have you ever tried spraying perfume near your mouth because it smells good, but you end up coughing due to the bitter taste, instead?
There’s actually a solution for this predicament. If you think the minty breath from toothpaste is too mainstream, you can have your breath smelling like perfume by eating these perfume candies.
You have to agree, some of these manufacturers went a little overboard in the naming of their beauty products. But it got your attention and that’s exactly what they want. These names are more so of an advertising strategy than what the product actually does.
Everyone wants to be beautiful, in one way or another, but some people get to a point where they will try just about anything to attain the beauty that they desire. While that’s not really an incorrect concept, you still have to look out if you are overdoing it. Remember, too much of something is bad. In this case, “bad” might mean you ruin your beauty, or worse, your health.