I Hate My Ex Boyfriend, But Still Think of Him.,,

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relationshipMy ex and I got together when I was 16 and he was 21 (stupid, I know) and we were together for over a year and a half. At first everything seemed to be fine between us. We had our problems, but doesn’t everyone?

For I while I thought that he must be the one for me, but towards the end of the relationship I felt like I was making a really big effort to keep both of us happy but got nothing in return from him. It got really frustrating and we ended up having arguments over the most stupid things. I ended up feeling down all the time.

He ended up waiting until I was on holiday and was miles away and then broke up with me in a very selfish and horrible text message. As if this wasn’t bad enough, he completely blanked me for the few remaining days of my holiday.

When I returned from the holiday, I eventually got through to him and I asked him if we could meet to talk to each other in person, he was very reluctant to do so but agreed. I had to spend a good half hour trying to explain to him that I was not trying to get back together with him and just wanted to ask if we could be friends, he said give it some time without talking or seeing each other and maybe we can. I agreed, because a year and a half of memores is a lot to throw away.

Later on that day I had to come to terms with how hurtful he really is. He admitted to me he was only talking to me to get his stuff back and that he fancied one of my ‘friend’s (she isn’t really, she bullied me in secondary school). This really upset me and I started to cry when we got back to my house where he was collecting his stuff. He half- heartedly comforted me and ran out of the door deserting me when his dad turned up to collect him in his car. I felt completely betrayed and he gave the illusion that all he cared about was his ****** stuff, not my feelings. He didn’t even care what his friends would think about what he’d done to me. That reminds me that he also told me that we should split our friends up into two groups, which is a load of BS. It didn’t help that he ‘stole’ some of my friends that I’d hung out with years before I knew of his pathetic existance.

A week after we split up when I was in the pub with some friends getting over his sorry ***, lo and behold he pops up out of no-where and doesn’t even leave when he sees me, just gives me the cold shoulder the whole time and won’t even look at me let alone talk to me. To make matters worse he’s with this so called ‘friend’ of mine who I will call the troll from now on. I now feel like he’s trampled on my heart just a little more than he already has done. I asked to have a word with him and questioned we could be on speaking terms at least, and if he was with the troll now, he says no you’re making it too awkward (even though I am over it and not acting like a ten year old) and no, but he wants to be with her and tells me he doesn’t give a crap about my feelings at all now and that he’s always fancied the troll more than me (thats over a year of our relationship). I am reacting really calmly to this but am dying inside. He then proceeds to tell me he wanted to dump me a year and three months before he did but didn’t because I’m a psycho ***** aparrently (I am not btw). He also had the audacity to tell me to leave him alone and stop stalking him when a). I was in the pub for 4 hours before him and didn’t know he would be out, and b). I had not talked to him since we split up.

upsetHe is behaving like a complete ******* and I don’t know why, as if the year and a half we spent together was nothing and like I’m the one that’s done him wrong (even though I’ve helped him through so much as he’s diabetic and passes out and drinks too much too so I was like a nurse, lover, and good friend to him all the time), another thing that’s annoying me is that he’s doing everything good for himself now that we’re apart even though I was the one who said he should start looking for jobs etc. when we were together, it just feels like he’s rubbing it in my face that he’s sorting himself out now, like ‘this is what you lost’ kinda thing. He also upset me because he’s losing weight now and he got really mad that when we were together I used to tell him that I loved him whatever size he was. He said it was unfair because he liked it when he was more skinny. I can’t believe this. If I told him he was fat and lose some weight (which I didn’t think he was) he would completely flip at me and tell me that I didn’t love him and was always putting him down. All I wanted was him to be happy but he’s just thrown everything back in my face.

I forgot to mention that we were technically engaged as we were going to marry next year, oh and he said he wanted children with me too. He asked me both of these things when he aparrently ‘didn’t care’ about me, what a user eh? I feel so stupid!

I’ve just been talking to my true friends and getting stuff off my chest, they are really helping me get over this idiot but i still think about him sometimes as it’s been less than a month. I also can’t believe I’m being replaced by this troll. People are telling me that it will take a long time for him to find someone like me again, and that I was out of his league. They make me feel better but I still feel like we should try to be friends. what do you guys think? Any advice will do. Thanks guys, sorry about the rant.

 

 

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