Why My Ex Sucks

Sep 29

::SIGH::

1. Thanks for the herpes!

2. Thanks for calling me to see if I was okay after I had blisters so bad I had to lie on my side.

3. Thanks for not giving me a birthday gift two years in a row

4. Thanks for never making time to see me and choosing work over seeing me EVERY time

5. Thanks for breaking up with me through Facebook, real class act

6 But really, thanks for finally getting out of my life you don’t deserve me

Sep 23

He’d rather get stoned, and sleep with his mother.

Only dated him for 3 months, but he was good at playing charming.  Come to find out he’s sleeping with 3 other women in the same office, two of them over 50.  He was 30.

He used to talk about how much he hated his mother, but then he really was just trying to sleep with her.  Oedipal to the core.

Oh, and he was stoned ALL the time.

Sep 03

:D

1) he got upset ‘cause “i’d rather watch lost with my friends than be with him during some days of the week”

2) but then on weekends he was never there because he was playing with his stupid flight simulator.

3) he always talked about his planes and everything but everything i did and i liked was nonsense and stupid.

4) he used to call me AT 6 AM!!! when he was with her friends only to HEAR MY VOICE.

5) and if i didnt pick up the phone… hed get mad at me.

i know im dont give public demonstrations of affection all the time, but he was obsessed.

Why he SUCKS

• Would NOT stop bragging about how he could take down a guy bigger than him because of this stupid ‘forbidden’ martial art
• After 4 months apart, I saw him for the first time and he promptly dumped me the next day for a fat chick.
• Cheated on me with three girls while he was at school, and STILL had the audacity to call or text me every day to tell me he loved me. 
• Caused me huge amounts of stress by using me as his therapist for problems he could have solved by just THINKING.
• Used the ‘i thought we were in an open relationship’ excuse
• Tried to break up with me over the phone.
• Pathological liar
• immature
• TACKY TASTE. In music, clothing, art, writing, everything.

• sulky
• whined all the time
• very small penis
• cocky
• MASSIVE ego
• needed validation of his ego all the time
• frequently cried over stupid things and I had to be his ‘mommy’
• Drank until he was sick at every party so I was stuck watching him puke at 3a.m. and then he’d promise he wouldn’t do it again but then do it the next weekend
• Had to one-up me in intelligence or wit constantly
• Average-looking, lazy (I don’t even know WHY I was with him?) 
• Disrespectful to his parents

I get sick satisfaction out of hearing the little snippets of bad news people tell me about him. Last weekend he got taken out by a piece of lumber to the trachea during home renovations and had to go to a hospital. Thank you, Karma!

By the way, that was our 800th post. Wow! 800! Sucky Exes, and so many more to go! Man, love sucks.