Already Enough Bitches

1. When I would wake up in the morning, she would often tell me that my face was fat and puffy like Teddy Kennedy’s face.

2. When I excitedly told her that I had passed the bar exam, she said, “so what? There’s already too many lawyers.”

3. During our honeymoon, we had sex two days in a row and she said, “Don’t even think this is going to become a habit.”