Star Fucker

1. He’s incredibly arrogant and self-centered, and made a habit of memorizing and reciting each one of his rich friend’s net worth and how many houses they had.

2. I lost my virginity to him, and when I bled everywhere, he told me, “to be honest, I really don’t want to be dealing with this right now.”

3. He’s incredibly hairy. Like, Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Hairy.