::SIGH::

1. Thanks for the herpes!

2. Thanks for calling me to see if I was okay after I had blisters so bad I had to lie on my side.

3. Thanks for not giving me a birthday gift two years in a row

4. Thanks for never making time to see me and choosing work over seeing me EVERY time

5. Thanks for breaking up with me through Facebook, real class act

6 But really, thanks for finally getting out of my life you don’t deserve me