Breakups suck. So do exes. These are all user-submitted stories about those exes. Want in? Submit any number of reasons why your ex sucks. Condense your bitterness. You’re used to being told to shut up, anyways. She always did that. Or he. Or He-She? Whatever. They sucked.
Get The Ho Ho Hell Out
1. On Christmas Day, he got too drunk at his parents party and I had to shuttle him out. We had a good time once we got home, until he casually mentioned that I had “ruined the last year of his life.”
When I got mad and tried to leave for a bit, he threw my shoe through a window, and then slapped me. I went to stay the night with a friend, and he drunk drove over there, and demanded that if I didn’t return with him to our house that night that I could never come back.
2. My birthday present to him one year: an extremely expensive gift he desperately wanted, and I arranged a scavanger hunt all of the house with little romantic cues and smaller gifts to direct him to where I had hidden it. His present to me the same year: an unwrapped t-shirt.
3.He dumped me for someone else, had me move out, etc. Then a few weeks later, ingratiated himself to me, said we should start dating. He alternately acts affectionate and cagey, before completely withdrawing, not taking my calls, and eventually calling our renewal off without even bothering to tell me, but just by silence.
