Breakups suck. So do exes. These are all user-submitted stories about those exes. Want in? Submit any number of reasons why your ex sucks. Condense your bitterness. You’re used to being told to shut up, anyways. She always did that. Or he. Or He-She? Whatever. They sucked.
Hated Queen, Was A Princess
1. One day he became enraged when I was talking to him on the phone because I decided to sing “Bicycle Race” by Queen. He then proceeded to call me every five minutes (not exaggerating) for the next 48 hours to sit on the phone without speaking. When he finally did talk it was to tell me that the reason he was doing it was because he wanted to make me as angry as I made him by singing that song.
2. Once he ordered take out from a restaurant and when we got back home he discovered that they had put sauce on his burrito. He became enraged (it seemed to happen a lot) even though he had never told them not to put sauce on his burrito. He just felt that as a regular customer they should have known not to do it. He then demanded that I take it back and told me to insist that they make a new one for no charge. I just bought another one and lied and said they gave it to me for free.
3. He instant messaged me out of nowhere a couple years after we broke up to tell me about how the relationship with his newest girlfriend dissolved. Apparently after a lot of persistence he convinced his now ex girlfriend to have sex with another guy because he told her it would turn him on. After she did it and then told him all the details as he requested he decided he was too disgusted by what she had done and broke up with her.
