Bleeding Gums, Not Heart

1. He never brushed his teeth because he didn’t like how it made his gums bleed. Nor would he ever use mouthwash.

2. Busted him in his twin-sized dorm bed with another chick. He claimed they were just friends when there was an empty futon right next to them.

3. He sent me a porno a few days after we broke up as a way of reconciling our friendship.