1. He did the I’m-gonna-be-real-funny-and-pretend-to-cough-but-actually-I’m-going-to-say-something-rude-under-my-breath thing today. At the top of his lungs he called me a whore. In public, at our school.

2. He talks like a lolcat. His favourite words? “lulz”, “awesomesauce”, “sadface”

3. His voice IRL is gravelly and reminds me of a Californian surfer dude. We live in NW Ontario, CANADA.

4. He was too clingy.

5. He always looked like I’d killed his dog or something. Made me feel guilty.

6. His boxers are constantly pulled up high and he strategically wears his pants lower than them.