What turns women on sexually is the question every guy wants an answer to; however, not all women are the same, so the answer is complicated. There is no doubt when you unlock the deep dark secrets regarding what turns a girl on, you’ve got the golden ticket to know how to please a girl completely. Just knowing this will strengthen your connection and improve your relationship, too.
What Turns a Girl on: Let’s Start with the Facts
Psychologytoday.com experts report that, in general, women display a much greater sexual fluidity than men do. Add to this the fact that many women just aren’t consciously aware of the diverse range of things that could potentially turn them on. Sexual awareness is everything when it comes to letting your partner know how to satisfy you.
One study from Harvard showed how straight women are turned on by both female and male erotica on a subconscious level. What this means ultimately is that women have no idea of all the different things that can turn them on, and that fact makes them a challenge for men to figure out.
Many gents believe the trick to turning women on sexually is to let her know how much you want her, but it doesn’t always work that way. Women need to be warmed up. Guys, on the other hand, are turned on both psychologically and physically by simple visual stimulation. For example, all they have to do is see a hottie in a tight skirt bending over to pick up her pen for an instant erection.
Psychologyandi.com relationship experts state women can be turned on physically, but it also involves their mental side, making it a touch more complicated. If you truly want to arouse a woman, you must tap into her mental and emotional connections. Sorry boys, this means you can be handsome and filthy rich, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to get a particular woman into bed.
What Research Studies Reveal
Although women are different from each other, there are calculated needs most women are programmed to desire, including:
- Turn up the volume on the PDAs. Women love physical affection and you should never shy away from public displays of affection, also referred to as PDAs. When you make a point of shouting out to the world that your girl is special by kissing her or holding her hand in public, you are consciously breaking down her protective walls and pushing your way into her mind and emotions.
- Be true to you. This goes for the good, bad and the ugly. When you show a woman your true colors, this shows her you aren’t afraid to expose your vulnerabilities and emotional needs, and that goes a long way in establishing credibility.
- Avoid being a Mr. Know It All. Girls are chemically drawn to the guy that may look a little dorky or might not have all the answers. The guy that will stop and ask for directions will get a heck of a lot further with the women than the guy that brags he knows it all.
- Leave your ego at the door. Sci-news.com reports psychologists believe men are more narcissistic than women, according to the Journal Psychological Bulletin. Narcissism is associated with numerous interpersonal dysfunctions; unethical behavior, aggression, ego, and the inability to keep long-term healthy relationships.
- Show her true pleasure. Instead of the usual wham-bam-thank-you-mam, slow down and show her the other types of pleasure. When you can show a woman there are many other ways to achieve sexual pleasure, not just with the penis in the vagina, you are one step closer to knowing what turns women on physically and what turns a woman on sexually. Think of it as a different puzzle each day and you’re on track.
- Know how to say you’re sorry and mean it. Turning a girl on involves a simple apology when you’ve done something wrong. It shows respect and that you are willing to admit when you screw up. This goes a long way in establishing that essential emotional trust you need to bring your relationship to a deeper level. Many women report getting turned on when they hear I’m sorry. Makes sense because the emotional connection is there.
- Make her feel safe when she’s with you. Isn’t it every girl’s dream to be rescued by big strong Superman? If you want to turn women on, you need to know how to make them feel safe and valued, not just a tool you use to get off on.
- If a woman feels like you only treat her well when you want to get laid, the flattery will wear thin fast and you’ll be back to pleasuring yourself.
Unexpected Things That Turn Her On
Here are a few surprising things that can turn a woman on according to WebMD:
- Have a cup of coffee. It seems so simple, and it is. Just the thought of making sure your partner gets her coffee when she likes it and how she likes it first thing in the morning is a direct route to strengthen your bond. And yes, it just might make her want to jump your bones. When you are giving and thoughtful you are showing your ability to make that emotional connection, which is critical in getting any woman into bed for keeps.
- Find a way to give her a break. Whether you make a point of leaving work early to take the kids for an hour or two, make dinner while she puts her feet up, or better yet hire a maid to tidy the house spic and span a couple times a month, you are showing appreciation and taking a giant leap forward in understanding what turns women on physically, mentally, and emotionally. Everyone loves to feel special; make sure that says at a conscious level.
- If she likes sweets, help her indulge. This isn’t about loading her up with junk food and sabotaging her diet. It’s about showing her your appreciation; that you take pleasure in making her feel special. If she happens to love Hershey’s Kisses, don’t be afraid of surprising her with a few on occasion when she gets home from work. If she’s addicted to homemade maple fudge, stop at the local candy shop and buy her a piece after a long week. The little things go far when you’re trying to figure out what turns women on.
- Making a point of keeping your eyes on her. Wandering eyes get you nowhere fast when you want to turn women on. Many women are insecure with themselves; they might feel overweight, too short or too tall, or perhaps they just don’t feel pretty enough.
By making a point of keeping all eyes on your girl you are visually showing your girl that she is the only one you want. This in turn can be a complete turn on because again, you’re tapping into those unpredictable emotions that are a huge part of giving women what they want. Glue your eyes on her and you are definitely headed in the right direction.
Know What Turns Her Off
On the flip side of the coin, it’s important to know a few of the major things guys do that completely turn girls off and make them stone cold:
- Go cheap and go home. According to Askmen.com, it’s not just about expensive jewelry and gifts, although they are nice, it’s all about those little things. Make a point of not complaining that her fresh organic veggies cost a lot more than your cheap canned ones. Avoid telling her to order water to drink when you’re trying to save a few bucks on date night.
This doesn’t mean you should get stupid with money, but pinching every penny is guaranteed to completely turn her off. So don’t be too frugal unless you want to sleep in an ice cold bed.
- Avoid talking her down in public. Maybe this is what turns you on, but it’s not a wise-owl move if you are into turning women on. When you put a woman down verbally in public, you are purposely humiliating her and that’s never a good thing when you want her excited to take you to bed.
If you make a girl feel bad about herself, you can’t expect her to feel sexy for you; that’s just not going to happen. A girl knows she feels most sensual when her mind and thoughts are positive, according to Huffington Post relationship experts. Remind her she is beautiful and perfect just the way she is, and you’re signaling you know what turns women on in bed.
- Lose the porn star expectation. What turns women on visually is not pretending to be Debbie Does Dallas. Porn is fantasy, so when you try and take a ridiculously impossible visual from the latest dirty movie and bring it into the bedroom, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Girls may like to watch the odd porn flick but they don’t want to actually play it out in the bedroom. Good old-fashioned normal, hot and steamy sex works just fine.
- Mama’s boy at 25-plus isn’t good. Moms are great, but if you are out of school and still consult your mom before you make any decisions, or if she still helps you shop for undies, you definitely don’t know how to turn women on.
- Mind your manners. Females like a man with manners. You should be able to say please and thank you and give a nice tip when appropriate. If there are any issues with the service, you are hopefully seasoned enough to display mature control in dealing with the situation. Yelling and screaming and throwing a tantrum won’t turn a girl on.
- Braggers don’t get the girls. You’ve only got three to five seconds to make a good impression, according to Business Insider. This means the last thing a girl wants to hear is you yapping about yourself. That’s a major turnoff. Slow yourself down and throw the ball in her court. Engage her in the conversation and you are much better off.
- Fake it and forget it. Of course a girl loves a compliment, but when you are showering her with them to try and get into her pants, it’s not tough to figure out. That’s an enormous turn off. When it comes to agreeing, it’s okay to disagree with some things she says. A man that has his own opinion is sexy.
- Slow and steady wins the race. We live in a world that’s loaded with too much information too soon. Don’t overwhelm the girl by talking about babies and moving in together on the first date. Distance in moderation is a great strengthening tool. The guy that knows what turns women on physically is not suffocating her.
- Ex bitching is not sexy. Experts from Women’s Health say you should never talk about your past relationships on a first date or when you are getting to know each other. When you are little more serious, you may want to cover the basics, but never before. When you talk about your ex, girls think of two things: you’re either not over her, or you are just not a nice guy.
This also naturally makes the girl wonder if she has any of those traits you supposedly despise in your ex. Just don’t go there if you want to impress the ladies.
- Never talk with your mouth full. There is nothing sexy about trying to have a conversation with someone who is talking with food flying out of their mouths. It’s disgusting and will definitely turn your girl off.
The golden ticket to turning your girl on is to make that deep emotional connection. It’s physiologically impossible for logic and emotion to occur simultaneously, so the trick is to get the women thinking with their emotions.
So, how do you do that?
Attracting Her Sexually: Easy Ways to Get Her Affection
According to the Psychology Today professionals, all you’ve got to do is use your words.
Although this isn’t a perfect science, there are a few factors that naturally encourage the link many couples are looking for, including:
- Practice Good Grooming: Making the effort to look more handsome or pretty can really boost the chances of creating that special emotional connection.
- Maintain Eye Contact: Knowing how to confidently make eye contact and showing you’ve got an engaging personality helps, too.
- Be Yourself: When you share something special or unique about yourself, you are displaying you know how to let your guard down and open that door to connecting.
- A Some Mystery: When you show you might be a little hard to get and understanding what amount of physical touch to use, can really make a difference, too.
Going the Extra Mile: More Ways to Steal Her Heart Tonight
When you are looking to connect, you can use these helpful hints to improve your dating communication and perhaps turn that special woman on in the process:
- Instead of questions use statements. There are always going to be awkward moments in a conversation when you are just getting to know each other. Filling these gaps with random statements about what you think and feel is an excellent step in the direction of making that solid emotional connection.
Tell your date something interesting about yourself and then throw the question back at her. This way you don’t wind up with a one sided conversation that ends up totally boring your date.
- Get creative with a super short story. A great bonding tool is to share stories and figure out where you both connect. Make sure you have a couple on hand that are positive, funny, and interesting. Tell me the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you? What’s your passion?
When you open yourself to build and share with someone you are showing interest in them and that you want to make a connection. A great way to figure out whether or not you are on the same bus romantically and sexually, too.
- Get Excited. Boring guys never get the girl. Show the girl you are interesting, engaging, and that you’ve got personality, and you’re on your way to nailing that connection. Use your body language and vary your tone and mannerisms so you present yourself as an interesting guy she should want to get to know better. It’s a great start.
- Show you are understanding and appreciative. When you show your date you are listening to what she says you are giving her the signals to keep on going. Ask her questions about what she says and repeat her words, and this will help you establish that internal emotional connection so essential to anything long lasting in a relationship.
When she talks about something heartfelt be sure to reflect positively and show her you can relate. Tell her of a similar instance you had and make sure she knows you understand where she’s coming from and appreciate it.
Use these learned skills to help you build a romantic connection to prove you know the secrets of turning women on. It’s not always easy to talk to a date. Nerves sometimes get in the way and many guys just don’t know how to read women well enough to smoothly and calmly sail through the date.
Make the time to use these four tactics to help bring the wall down and open that emotional door for you to walk right through. When you master that you have the key to give the women what they want. A win-win for everyone.
Women are complex creatures according to Men’s Health experts. Figuring out what turns women on is always going to be a puzzle in perpetual motion, where one size does not fit all.
Use the tactics and strategies throughout this article to help you decode the mystery and learn how to master the art giving women what they want. You see, when they get what they want, so do you.